the dead beat

Often, my boyfriend and I listen to WGCI radio out of Chicago via the Internet to wake us up early in the morning. This Monday morn, the DJs were talking about a sting operation that occurred yesterday on beautiful Father's Day. Some hundred "daddies" in Cook County were arrested on failure to pay child support...on Father's Day. [ha ha! Ok, had to laugh...] Some men even owed hundreds of thousands of dollars. Callers were sounding off on whether or not this was a good or bad idea.

I'm sitting on the fence about it. Yes, it is a good thing because the men should take responsibility for the children they made. Even if they cannot get along with the mother. It is not the children's fault that they were created by some lazy, uncaring sperm donor. My boyfriend made a good point, though, that made me feel that it was a bad idea. (A) The men don't care anyway, and jail for most of them will not make any type of difference. Point well taken, even though the demographic of the group was not told [but we can guess...] (B) Why wait until Father's Day? They could have captured these men weeks ago. The law was trying to make a statement that "Father's Day" does not apply to men who are not "fathers." Point also well taken.

To me, the entire business of "dead beat dads" is a true shame, and a true reality, for so many of our black children. I remember years ago when I volunteered at a daycare facility outside of my dad's job, The Children's Hospital of the King's Daughters in Norfolk, Virginia. There was this adorable 3-year-old named Damien who had the cutest grin ever and would walk around showing everyone his bracelet ["Bling," as he called it]. The daycare keepers used to ask him his dad's name, and Damien, 3 years old, would say, "Dead Beat Daddy" with that huge grin. The daycare ladies used to crack up, and I would join in, but inwardly, I would cringe. Damien would say that his mommy told him that his dad's name was "Dead Beat Daddy." I kept thinking, this child has a lot of resentment for the dad that he didn't even know.

In my eyes, the mother should never taint the image of a child's dad intentionally, out of spite for the man, without giving the child a chance to learn about his or her father on their own. But, I don't have a "baby daddy," so I can't comment from the other side. This entire thing just makes a loud statement about the state of the crumbled black family structure, the state of black male and female relationships, and the bleek future for many of our black children.

Can't we all just get along?