the man, the boy, and the donkey

An old man, a boy, and a donkey were going to town. The boy rode on the donkey & the old man walked. As they went along, they passed some people who remarked it was a shame the old man was walking and the boy was riding. The man & boy thought that maybe the critics were right, so they changed positions.

Later, they passed some people that remarked, "What a shame, he makes that little boy walk." They then decided they both would walk!

Soon, they passed some more people who thought they were stupid to walk when they had a decent donkey to ride. So, they both rode the donkey.

Now they passed some people who shamed them by saying how awful to put such a load on a poor donkey. The boy & man said they were probably right, so they decide to carry the donkey.

As they crossed the bridge, they lost their grip on the animal, and it fell into the river and drowned.

The moral of the story? If you try to please everyone, you might as well...
Kiss your ass goodbye!
Have A Nice Day & Be Careful With Your Donkey

a flying conversation with black and white "me"

Okay, I had to post this "shyte:"

In March, a British Airways economy-class passenger on a flight from Delhi, India, died onboard, and the corpse was moved to the less-congested first-class section, to the chagrin of Paul Trinder, who had paid the equivalent of about $6,000 for his nearby seat. When he complained, he said he was told just to "get over it" and that no refund would be offered. [The Independent (London), 3-18-07]

Time the hell out!! The attitudinal black woman in me is screaming out, "Unt uh, honey, no they didn't! You gon' put a 'definitely dead' person beside me on a plane, and then tell me to 'get over it?' Hell naw! Ya'll betta go kick rocks before I punch you in the balls!"

Now, the calmer Caucasian woman in me is saying, "Now, dear, what were they supposed to do at 32,000 feet in the air? Push the man out the plane door? There was hardly anything the stewardesses and people onboard could do but make it comfortable for the majority of the 'flightees,' which were the people back there in coach. Shoot, they probably didn't know what to do with a dead body! I mean, what would you do?"

The black woman is winning..."Well, then, don't put that damn body beside me! Let me sit beside somebody alive, and that body can have the damn row, for all I care! And cover that sh** up! Don't nobody wanna look at no decaying body parts! Ew, it stink!"

LOL

Ain't life a bitch?

the drunken dead paris bit of masterwork

Good morning, world! In light of the upcoming Paris Hilton jail day, I thought I'd post comments dedicated to the silly little vixen. Some time ago, a story was posted on MSN about controversial sculptor Dan Edwards' next greatest endeavor. He managed to sculpt a "dead" Paris Hilton undergoing an autopsy to teach kids about the dangers of drunk driving. Yeah, that's a good way to cover it up! Click on the link for a picture. It's incredibly masterful. I mean, he even got the damn dog!

http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/visualart/315006_hiltonart10.html

Personally, I think he just doesn't like the chick. A lot of people don't like her because she's, well, "blonde," for one. I ignore her.

I laughed at this picture initially, but it isn't funny! [struggling solemn face] So, maybe it is, just a wee bit. The child should know better, first of all. She claimed that she didn't know her license was suspended. Right. Secondly, drinking and driving is not only illegal, but it's very dangerous. Ok, I just sounded really [] for a minute there. []=square

But, I'm thinking, if a famous artist sculpted me dead, posing like I'm ready for a freakishly good time, with a drink in one hand and a cell phone in the other, and wearing a hot tiara, I'd be embarrassed, offended, and ready to fight. Then, of course, I'm far from being Paris Hilton, or from being "blonde," period.

I hope this man didn't "kill" Paris. Her spirit may be shot, or "crashed," now, but wait until she gets inside that 23-day jail sentence. TV for one hour a day. Only one hot meal a day. No cell phone. No Tinkerbell. She just might snap. And then we'll be looking at Dan a little bit more strangely...

maybe being shot in the penis would have awaken him?

On MSN this morning, there was a story about a man who was shot in the head as he slept, and the man did not wake up until four hours later. To me, this is a very odd thing. [plain face] Hmm...I've never been shot, nor do I want to be, but I can imagine the excruciating pain one feels during such a thing. A steel mushroom the size of a good 1-caret diamond earring just punched a hole in your body...what do you think? "Pain" isn't the word. But this man got shot in the head. And did he feel it? Did he think he was dreaming? All I know is, how do you NOT KNOW you just got shot in the f****** head, dude? Sleep or not. He needs to go in the Guinness book for "World's Heaviest Sleeper." The MSN headline read, "Don't Wake Me For Anything Less Than a Grenade." Ha! Good one, guys! Maybe it was that West Virginia air. This man is truly lucky to be alive, but I think he was drunk as all hell. He had to be more drunk than words can describe. And if alcohol can make you sleep through being shot in the head, give me two of them suckas!

The crazy story:
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/18790581/?GT1=9951

lordy, lordy, pepperoni floyd

I feel the need to comment on the new developments in the Floyd Landis cycling debacle. It is absolutely amazing how far people will go to push a lie down the hill and around the corner. Like my momma always said, what's done in the dark will always come to light. Things are starting to unravel here, and I don't know whether to shake my head sadly or laugh out loud. It is still unknown as to whether or not Landis' "B" sample is positive or negative..we all know what will happen if it turns out positive. This new development attempts to expose Landis and his business partners as hypocritical fibbers chasing the glory and the money. And this can't be good for his trying to prove that he was not drugged when he won the Tour de France. I feel really bad for Landis' friend who was blackmailed because (a) Landis' lawyer actually fessed up to the blackmail, and (b) the secret of the man's childhood molestation that he tried to keep under wraps is now out all over the news. And Floyd can't say a thing. What goes through a man's head when he's sitting there, silently watching his "truth" blow a short? I know he left that courtroom with his lawyer and cussed him up and down. All I can say is, I'm following this story closely. Just give me a large pepperoni and sausage, and an orange soda, and you've got me for the long haul. I'm rooting for you, Pepperoni Floyd, just for "benefit of the doubt" purposes. This is suspenseful...I never knew cycling could be so exciting. Well, beyond the occurrences when people fall off their bikes, or crash and knock over 20 other folks and I fall out laughing. That's just my cruel sense of humor...sorry.

And one more thing: What's up with the mention of Landis wearing a black tie? Is it to cleverly parallel mentions of "blackmail?" Black tie, blackmail...MSN editors are so smart...
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/18705368/

I guess the whole thing is a "black tie affair"...Ha! I guess that makes me smart, too...

road gas and price rage

I'm thinking that this is evidence of the working observant's mind...Gas prices and road rage are totally linked. Ta da! LOL...

For the past couple of days on MSN [my personal newspaper], there have been several stories covering the country's most "angry driving" states. [Georgia ranks 12th, which I think is a lie! We should be higher up on the list than that!] On the other side, there have been tips on saving fuel and getting the most of your car's fuel economy. The number one way to save gas? "Change your driving habits. Accelerate and brake smoothly." So "they" say. But, as I drove to work this morning, I thought, in Atlanta, you can't "accelerate smoothly" because everyone around you accelerates like Speed Racer. To avoid the dreaded horn of five cars behind you and almost being run completely over by a Mach truck, you must stay with the flow of traffic. And, unfortunately, the flow of traffic is 50 mph on residential roads and 85 mph on the highway. Whoever made up that acceleration rule must not live in a large, bustling city.

So I'm thinking, $3.00+ gas is not helping people and their road rage. $3.00+ gas is making drivers more angry. [And you know what? That little devil that lives inside of me is laughing her head off because she believes that those SUV-toting, Bush-voting Republicans are getting what they deserve!!] People are mad as all hell because they just spent $50 pumping gas into their Ford Escape and now have to race to work because they had to wait behind two cars just to get to the pump with $2.92 gas, versus the station down the street and closer to the highway with $3.08 gas. Thus, road rage "rages" on. And it's hard to change driving habits when people are fighting over gas pumps and having to rush. And cities are getting bigger. More people are driving. Gas prices are rising. And it makes me want to stay home.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/18682561/?GT1=9951

engaging in a little vent session to start off my morning

Good morning, America! For my very first blog entry, I want to say...I broke my memory. No, I do not mean I cannot remember certain things about my past, perhaps because of age or mental refusal to recall. I intentionally broke my memory. I took a hammer and smashed past reminisces. Why? One cliche' reason alone: No one should live in the past, because the past is all gone. We cannot go backwards, no matter how hard we try. So, from this point on, I vow to stare my future in the face instead of daily thinking about what I "should have" done. Life lesson.

I sit at my modest little desk with the keyboard that clacks back and forth when I type because it is unstable. Oh, wait, I just fixed it. Never mind.

I need a new job. And I never thought I'd say this, but it's strictly because my boss is the devil. All of the signs are there. "Does your boss make you feel insignificant, as if your contribution is unneeded or unwelcome? Is your boss unapproachable? Mean? Do you still believe you want to leave your job even after considering chasing a raise of as much as 50% of what you're making now? Do you have benefits that are worth holding on to?" She fusses at me--like one would a child. She goes into her office and pouts when something doesn't go her way (or she storms at me). No one could pay me enough to continue working here. I have no benefits; in actuality, I'm paying the government taxes and ruining my car. That's anti-progressive to getting benefits! Now, one would say I have the "perfect" job. It's my grandfather's company; it's flexible; I don't punch in the clock; I can move around the city; I interact and provide a valuable service to others; I get paid...but I'm inexpensive labor. And did I mention all that driving is ruining my poor Focus?! I'm doing to job of two people (selling and executive assistant). And my boss is the devil!!!

[Sorry. A little vent there...]